Stretching

I think God is stretching me. And it is uncomfortable. Patience and humility are the lessons of the moment. I don't want to go into detail, but I just felt like sharing that.

So, I've been reading Elizabeth Elliot's Passion and Purity (which I think I've mentioned). But I was reading it today, and like everything she was saying was making sense and hitting home. So I thought I'd share some of it:

"Few things have the power to make us feel as sorry for ourselves as has loneliness. We feel marooned, cheated. Everyone else in the world seems to have somewhere to go, someone to be with, something to enjoy. We alone have been excluded. We simply want to wallow." (ch. 25)

"We're created men and women. If Adam needed Eve and she was made for him, isn't it natural, then, isn't it altogether fitting and proper, that men and women should hunger for each other? It is natural indeed. However, it's not the only thing God has in mind for us. We are not meant to live merely by what is natural. We need to learn to live by the supernatural. Ordinary fare will not fill the emptiness in our hearts. Bread will not suffice. We need extraordinary fare. We need manna. How else will we learn to eat it, if we are never hungry? How will we educate our tastes for heavenly things it we are surfeited with earthly?" (ch. 24)

There was more, but that's all I feel like putting in here right now. I will add the prayer that Mrs. Elliot prayed while awaiting direction from God about her relationship with Jim Elliot:
"For my loneliness, Lord -- Your strength
For my temptation to self-pity, Lord -- Your strength.
For my uncontrollable longings for this man, Lord -- Your strength.

I just got off the phone with my grandmother. I love that woman. She is a wonderful lady. She makes me laugh, unexpectedly, sometimes. I'll be heading down for a visit with Talmadge and Naomi on Friday. Two of my cousins are going to be down there visiting, so I thought I join in on the fun. Their house is a grand place. They have tons of acreage. There is a in-ground pool. Dad's house, named for my grandfather's dad who lived their for a while. There is the barn where we used to keep our horse. I remember back in the day when me and my brother and sister used to jump the bales of hay. Then there is the swing underneath the big oak tree. Somehow, most of the visits to Nana and Papa's end up around that swing. Two or three people on the swing, and everyone else is given a white plastic chair. Papa is usually the one who gets out the chairs. My grandparents have an abundance of white plastic chairs. I think they all were acquired because of the 4th of July celebrations we used to have at their house. The Davis clan used to gather at my g-parents house on the 4th (or the Saturday closest to it). They'd come in from Alabama, Florida, South Carolina, and North Carolina (maybe some other states, I don't know). It was one of my most favorite things. Those gatherings have ceased; now I only see the Davis clan at Thanksgiving (one year at Table Rock, one year in Alabama). But back to the grandparents. Chances are that Papa will ask me if I have a boyfriend. I will have to say no; wish the answer could be yes. I'm hoping that there will be mac and cheese during my visit. Even if there isn't any, it'll be a good trip...one that is overdue.

Isn't it weird how a dream will stay with you throughout the day? It is. Like if you have a dream where someone hurts you, or does something against you...you could be angry with them for the rest of the day even though they haven't (in reality) done anything to you. It is just weird, that's all.

Maybe I'll become an cosmotologist when I grow up. Maybe not. I just don't know what to do with my life, and it is getting me down. I am jealous of those who've known their whole life what their calling was. Stupid people.

I also hate fruit flies.

But I love to dance.

So, it works out.

Looks like I'm heading to Raleigh in a couple of weeks to look at bridesmaids dresses for my pal Lindsay's wedding. This could be a fun activity, or it could be hellacious. But I will believe that it will be fun. I'll be with my bestests!! Maybe another video will come out of this endeavor. Jules is going to be there, too, so it'll be the same five of us from the last movie. Cross ya fingers.

Lately, I've seen lots of bits and pieces of movies I've never seen. Swimfan (looks weird). Say Anything (furthered my love of John Cusack). Abandon (just saw the end, doesn't look all that great). And so on.

I like the Mel Gibson movie Maverick. It makes me laugh. It came on TNT the other night.

I am really upset by the fact that TBS is not showing Ed anymore. What the crap?? I loved this show. I was an avid watcher when it was originally on; and when they started showing reruns on TBS, I was super excited. Now when I turn the tv to channel 27 at 12 noon, Becker is on. Who watches Becker???

I go to Walmart too much. I need a hobby.

I wish I lived at the beach.


Song of the day:
"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" -- Jack Johnson