Rain, Finally

It rained today.

I was glad. It totally matched my mood. I woke up not feeling good, and my mood followed suit.

I had to go to Easley to this morning to sign up for CPR classes. Megan went with me, and we lunched at Chick-fil-a. i was supposed to work at Bilo tonight, but called in. I couldn't stand for there for 6 hours and be friendly to people feeling like I do right now.

I was justreading some other people's blogs, and I was inspired to write in mine. I don't know if anyone still reads this, but it does give me something to do.

I'm thinking about coffee right now.

I would like to thank my friend Katie for introducing me to the Reba/Kelly Clarkson version of "Does He Love You" (or whatever the name of that song it). I am listening to it right now, and I really like it.

I'm headed to the grandparents' this weekend for a night. It is always good to see them. I love my Nana and Papa. They are my inspiration. Maybe I should tell them that. They have a pool, and as a child, I loved that pool. I could stay for hours in the water. I still could, if I had the time. Their house always smells good. I think it is a mixture of my grandmother's mac and cheese, tea, and biscuits. Christmas at their house is magical. They always have the best tree. The ornaments are always the same, which is comforting. Nana has an ornament for each of the grandchildren that has each of our pictures in it. I think that mine and Laurne's were purchased at the same time because they are both teddy bears.

I am very emotional today. The slightest thing is making me tear up. I really should not do anything for the rest of the day. I am going to continue to do what I was doing before I got on the computer, lie in front of the TV on the couch in the dark.

I miss home today. I often miss home around supper time. I miss my mother. I hate having to fix dinner for one. I have three roommates, but we don't eat together very often. I've had to give up eating out so much (too expensive right now). So I am forced to eat frozen lasagna and sandwiches.

I have applied for two jobs that would get me out of the hell-hole called Bilo. And another job was brought to my attention by my sister. So, there is hope. For this I am severly thankful.

My new favorite game: going on the Merriam-Webster website, looking up words, and listening to their pronunciation. Do it...it is fun.

Ok, the couch is calling my name again. I must answer it. I might even sleep; I don't know.

I leave you with the lyrics of James Taylor's "Letter in the Mail":

If I could go down now while the whole town is sleeping, see the sun creeping up on the hill,
I know the river and the railroad would run through the valley still.
I guess it never was much to look at, just a one-horse town,
the kind of place young people want to leave today,
store fronts pretty much boarded up, Main Street pretty much closed down.
The church bell still rings on Sunday, old folks still go, the young ones listen on the radio.
Saturday night nothing but a stray dog running wild like nobody's child.

And little by little, light after light, that's how it died.
They say you never go home again, that's no lie.
Its like a letter in the mail to a brother in jail,
it's a matter of time until you can do a little bit better time.

It used to be part of the heartland, awful proud and strong.
But deep, deep down peaceful and serene.
When people used to talk about the country that’s what they used to mean.
I might go down come the weekend, go on my own,
drop off Annie and the baby, maybe drive alone.
Pay my last respects to a time that has all but gone.
We said, Mama come look at the mountain, fire in the sky, it's lit up like the Fourth of July,
the mill burning down, the jobs leaving town, the trains rolling by.

And little by little, light after light, that's how it died.
They say you never go home again, that's no lie.
Its like a letter in the mail to a brother in jail,
it's a matter of time until you can do a little bit better time.